Sunday, December 23, 2018

方寸之间自有天地

我喜欢写大字,但是一直缺一块印章,总觉得送出去的书画缺点了啥。昨天心血来潮,给自己刻了一块。以后准备向乾隆皇帝学习,在不怎么样的书画和臭气冲天的诗词旁边打上几个印。






《三国志·蜀志·诸葛亮传》中有这么一句话“方寸之间自有天地”,形容刻印特别合适。印章石的边长大概是两厘米左右。在这个极小的空间内,用3毫米宽的锉刀刻出几个篆体的字,是需要“游削于不寸之质,而须麋了然”的。金石书画不分家。比如著名画家吴昌硕,就是刻印出身。而刻印的原理,基本上也是“虚实相生,疏密有致”,以及或纤弱,或粗旷,或质朴,和书画没有多少区别。

“方寸之间自有天地”,方寸之间,广纳天地之灵气。我喜欢独处,也是在方寸之间。即使在家,我也很少出卧室的门,几乎所有的活动,都在不超过15平米的房间完成。走出卧室,我是俗世中万人中一人。但当我独处一室时,天地间只我一人。此时,可以充分享受在工作,学习和创作中滋养身心的过程。

印章刻的好的,往往能从方寸之印中看出本尊的书法和绘画风格。而一个人在独处的空间所做的事情,和独处时间的心境,才是本我的生活质量的反应。

Sunday, November 25, 2018

以人工智能为基础的新生代艺术

前几天读到一则新闻,讲的是首幅AI做出的画《Edmond de Belamy》卖了43万美元,超过了同场拍卖的毕加索的画作。这幅画是用一个几年前发明的技术GAN产生的。对于《Edmond de Belamy》这幅画我自己感觉非常欣赏无能。但是那可能是因为我的艺术修养不够,对于毕加索的画我也不是很能欣赏。

我自己也做过很多机器学习和深度学习的project。我只能说我众多专业领域机器学习的project只是让我变得出名,但是没有对人类做出什么贡献。确切地说,带来了不少烦恼。我的文学艺术水平也不高。很喜欢作诗,但是做的诗绝对不如20年前电脑做的诗好。我学机器学习和做各类艺术主要是为了享受学习的过程和自娱自乐。在用AI做画上,我稍微玩儿过一点儿。

Original by Yuanfang

这是我最近在准备交流访问的时候画的一副,非常适合用来做实验。如果以这幅为起底,用莫奈的画来训练神经网络:

Monet, deep learning at 300 iteration

深度学习训练后的这幅画充分体现了那种模糊朦胧的印象派手法。因为没有训练色彩转变,所以色调上还是保留了原有的强烈对比。以下这幅用Dowton的画来做训练:

Dowton, deep learning at 500 iteration

Dowton擅长水彩,经过Dowton的画训练过的神经网络画风通透灵动,绚烂跳跃。水花溅起的感觉更加清晰,远景的树色彩更加动人。这幅画似乎还产生了superresolution的效果,比原画的分辨率更高。

总的来说,我认为我的AI水平非常一般,作书作诗作画的水平更是非常一般。但是两者的结合,产生了一种意想不到的效果。

Saturday, November 3, 2018

人生没有一帆风顺,只有自我解脱



    今天读到蓝洁瑛在寓所被发现死掉,尸体已经发臭的新闻,非常触动。

        我对蓝洁瑛一直很关注,关注她的命运,因为特别可以理解她‘走不出’的这种心理状态。活到现在的我也有过几次‘走不出’的经历。可以说出的是小学的时候被男班长拳打脚踢浑身淤青,高中军训的时候被吐口水,高一被女同学欺负不让打饭。每一段即使现在想起来,都会眼眶湿红,有‘走不出’的感觉。更走不出的是那些还在进行的,无法说出口的事情。

         所以我对蓝洁瑛很关注,关注她的命运也是好像在从他人的角度看自己。和蓝洁瑛一样,我不否认我精神不太正常。任何一个经历过我所经历的事情的人,要么精神失常,要么需要不断的的自我解脱。每次经历这种‘走不出’,过后再看,我都会变成一个完全不同的人。我记得高一第一学期,头两个月被同学欺负,没吃一顿午饭。开始两周精神是很恍惚的。那时候正在播《大红灯笼高高挂》,班里有同学叫我‘颂莲’,那个被封建婚姻逼疯的女人。当时我决心绝不跟班里同学说一句话,独来独往。但是很快,我在解数学题中发现了极大的乐趣。成绩在一个学期内从年纪一百多提高到了第一。应该说是‘走不出’的经历一次又一次改变了我的人生走向。

        我非常喜欢东坡的一句诗“浩然天地间,唯我独也正”。这句诗是东坡第三次被贬的时候写的。这句诗曾经陪伴我走过每一个人生低谷。人在低谷时,我觉得独立的学习和创作是最好的解脱。对于艺术家和音乐家,作品就是他的解脱。东坡在被贬之前的艺术成就远不及被贬之后。梵高,贝多芬,莫扎特,大艺术家,文学家往往有曲折的人生。我觉得就是他们在寻找自我解脱的过程中,得到了升华。一件仅为作而作的作品,我认为是不太可能达到大师的层次的。

        对于科学家,研究就是他的解脱。我喜欢单干,常常一个项目从头亲力亲为从头做到尾。也曾今因单干被诟病甚至攻击。其实我单干不是因为愤世嫉俗或者觉得自己水平怎么高,更不是为了自己占credit。而是在单干的过程中会进入一种生理和心理上的无人之境,体会到了自我的价值,从而获得了无限的解脱。

        关于蓝洁瑛的死,我就好像看到了平行世界中的自己。同情,感触,希望神能在她死前抱抱她。其实很多人都会被强奸。不被男人强奸,也免不了被社会,命运和生活强奸。在逆境,最重要的就是自己精神不能垮掉,要寻找自我解脱的道路。我试过很多很多,吃斋念佛,读书,找心理医生。但是每次能让我解脱的,还是独立的做一些事情。






Thursday, October 25, 2018

记吃蟹

前不久买了几只蓝蟹,本来想放到清水里养着让孩子们玩儿过再吃。但是螃蟹性情急躁,被抓之后张牙舞爪,搏尽最后一丝力挣扎。结果还没熬到做饭就都死翘了。

清煮之后,青蟹变成赤红。水中横行的霸王变成了盘中的美食,鲜香之味四溢。手掰,钳子夹,大牙咬,筷子从蟹腿里杵来杵去。折腾了半天,总算吃干净。掷下最后一根蟹腿的骨壳。

螃蟹皮里黑黄,骨骼长在肉外,就是为了不被吃掉。人为满足口舌之欲,杵其身碎其骨也要把肉抠出来。思至此处如同一瓢冰水泼在头顶,心中一凛。


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送水彩螃蟹一只。。。这幅画题目是《死不足惜》






Friday, August 31, 2018

读杨振宁九十自述有感


http://news.sciencenet.cn/htmlnews/2012/2/259877-4.shtm

老杨讲到“我自己很少收研究生,一生只毕业过大约十个博士生。”

我想到现在大多数的教授,也包括以前的我自己,都是陷入了给学生找钱,扩大实验室的怪圈。其实种种矛盾皆源于此,地盘,或是学生资源。而真正顶级的研究,不是靠大来实现的。而是要做高。翻了翻老杨的文章。大多数都是单独作者,或者最多两个作者。其实我本来也是很喜欢自己动手做东西的,而且我自己的想法,往往自己实现的最好。但是前一段时间陷入迷途,恨不得发的文章越多越好,拿的钱越多越好,招的学生越多越好。而忘记了一个科研工作者应该在一线从头到尾完成实验和文章的本职。最近这段时间离开实验室,又再次静下心来写了一些独立作者的文章。每天的科研变得特别的愉悦,而不是总是着急学生不动。

老杨又讲到“最好在领域开始时进入一个新领域。”, “一个研究生最好不要进入粥少僧多的领域。”

这一点我一直非常同意。从生物转到基因组学,再转到机器学习,现在是深度学习,我算是赶上了每一个刚刚起步的学科。基本上在这个学科大热的时候,我就会开始思考和探索下一步的热点在哪里。就比较世俗的角度,这样在升学和就业上我自己得到了极大的好处。而且不断的开阔其他领域,掌握了各种各样的技能。我们中国有句话叫做“技多不压身”。我是不介意学任何技能或读任何书的,也特别赞成终身学习。说起来,我的python和深度学习是2016年前才学的,到现在拿到很多比赛的奖项。我的经验是即使学完全不相关的东西,比如艺术,历史,物理,这些都不会白学,而是会提高一个人再次学习的能力。业余时间,我几乎百分之百都用来学习。也非常享受这种学习。

老杨讲了他在读博士的时候找到了一些比较难的题目,后来经常思考这些题目,逐个攻破。

我读到这个故事深受启发。前期的研究。我主要是做比赛,这样了解一下各个领域的尖端技术,也是在找题目。开始特别难。现在拿来大多数题目思路都是很清晰的。只有特别新的题目,才能带来那种刺激的感觉。受老杨的启发,这段时间,我也自己找了几个理论和技术上很有难度的题目来做。这一点差不多就是东施效颦了。


最近几个月有些不顺的事情。算是被打入冷宫了。现在心情平静下来,思考下一步的研究和如何提升自己的研究水平。以上就是我读杨振宁90自述的感触和思考。

Sunday, February 11, 2018

安娜堡春节联欢




《健康歌》


《读唐诗》“床前的月光,窗外的雪。 高飞的白鹭,浮水的鹅。
唐诗里有画,唐诗里有歌。唐诗像清泉,流进我心窝, 
床前的月光,窗外的雪。 高飞的白鹭,浮水的鹅。 
唐诗里有画,唐诗里有歌。唐诗像清泉,流进我心窝, 

相思的红豆, 吴山的雪。 边塞的战士,回乡的客。
唐诗里有乐,唐诗里有苦。唐诗像祖先在向我诉说。”    这个节目唱出来第一句眼泪就流出来,从头哭到尾。




窗含西岭千秋雪,Palmer Commons, Ann Arbor外景, Feb 08,2018



Friday, December 29, 2017

Choosing the graduate school

Recently, I interviewed a student. He gave me a clear answer, 'if MIT gives me Offer, then I will go to MIT. Otherwise, I will come to Umich'.  I recalled when I had interview many years ago, I  said something similar, 'if Harvard gives me an offer, I would go to Harvard. If not, I would go to Princeton'. Look backing today, how ignorant I was!

The choices made by 20-year-olds are often blind. They do not know what exactly they want. If it is just for a Ph.D title from a famous school, then five years of life is too long.

I think most of the students who choose to do a PhD have some kind of dreams, or illusions, about science and technology, at least when they begin. Then the most important thing is to find a mentor that share the same dream with you. When you get into graduate school, you will soon find out, many people are here, not because they love science or love to profess, but because they love the title of professor. Or it is because they are in a major where there is no job market, and after doing many years of postdoctoral, they lost the opportunity to change to another major.  Some of the professors, they hate research. In my discipline, bioinformatics, it is reflected by that they don't want to touch a single line of code; and when talking about programming, a look of contempt appears on their face and it looks as if they want to stay away it as far as possible. The day they become independent, is the same day their scientific life ends, because they would never do or even care about any experiment any more. Of course, they would still claim that 'I am interested in the XXX problem'; however, this "interested in" is nothing more than saying 'without this research topic, I would have to go on the street'. They care about papers and funding, but only because these are a way to make a living.  They can be very successful in other people's eyes. But, living such a life is pathetic. And when you find out that the professors you have long admired are no more than just struggling for a living, pursuing for some ridiculous 'reputation' or 'recognition', your value system will ​​collapse.

I think a happy life is that one can do what s/he loves to do everyday, while getting paid.   Ever since my Ph.D., I have seen numerous unfairness, lies and manipulations.  In a short summary, it is like Lu Xun said, humanity is depicted as the true, the good and the beautiful, but between the lines, there is only one word --- 'cannibalism’. The only thing that supported me to go this far is that I have an irreplaceable interests in studying various kinds of data. Even if I am doing other jobs now, I would spend all my spare time looking at these data. Everyone who chooses to work in academia will have to go through many things that are quite opposite to their initial imaginations.  If there is not a true attachment to science or technology, this road will be very painful, and not worth to follow. On the other hands, if one has this attachment, it is easier for her to detach from the many of the unfairness or cruelness in this world. 

However, to be able to do what you like, is a luxury. For most people, there is no such choice. To have this choice, I think there are two ways: First, to be born with a silver spoon in the mouth.  Rich people have many choices.  Second, you need to have certain technique that only a few people possess, and there are ones who are willing to pay for your technique. I think a shortcut is through 5 years of doctoral training, to acquire the technique you want. This technique is not only your hobby, but also your job. So this is my second suggestion: find a mentor who is capable to teach you hand-by-hand the techniques you need.

One big difference between PhD and undergraduate is that you do not have a lot opportunities to experience the so-called 'campus culture', or get to know many professors. Instead, It is like getting married, you need to stay with someone for five or six years.  When I chose my advisor, people all said I was not wise. Because my advisor was just an assistant professor at that time, and bioinformatics was a new discipline and was not favored by some traditional molecular biologists. I chose my advisor among my three rotation labs not because I thought she was able to help me in the future, or that I foresight to the future of bioinformatics. But because I was a bit scared to talk to the other two. I just want to live a nice life for 5 years. So my last suggestion is to find an advisor who you feel you like to stay with for a very long time.